New research reveals why you can spend hours talking to people online and still feel alone.
Your classroom can fit in your laptop bag. Students attend lectures from bedrooms, cafés, or libraries, while educators reach them across cities, states, and even countries with the click of a button. The convenience is undeniable.
But it does come with a cost. Engagement, connection, and the subtle cues of human interaction are often lost in translation when physical presence is replaced by pixels.
Dianne Tice, psychology professor at Brigham Young University, is deaf and she found that the bigger the lecture hall, the harder it became for her to engage with students beyond a one-way lecture.
“I just can't hear students’ questions,” she explains. “I can lecture okay, but I can’t have discussion and responses."
On the other hand, online lectures — with microphones and captions — restored access to her students’ voices. But then another worry appeared: Would her students still feel truly connected in a virtual environment?
The Science of Showing Up
Tice and her co-authors, Roy Baumeister and Michaela Bibby of Harvard University and Brad Bushman of Ohio State University, recently published a literature review in Perspectives on Psychological Science analyzing more than 1,000 studies comparing face-to-face and screen-mediated interactions.
Their findings show that technology offers notable benefits, creating opportunities for engagement that would not exist without those digital tools. Even so, online interactions do not share the same quality as in-person interactions — social connection and cognitive engagement decline when physical presence is absent.
“People are just less engaged when they’re alone and socializing than they are when they’re in person,” Tice says.
She does not argue that screens are eroding society or that students should abandon digital tools altogether. The real issue, she suggests, is whether we are genuinely engaged with the person we are interacting with.
Collaborating Across Continents
While completing the review, Tice and her co-authors were scattered across universities, time zones, and even continents. Technology made that sustained collaboration possible in ways that would have been impractical a generation ago.
“Despite huge differences in where we were, we could collaborate really effectively enough to get an article published in a good journal,” she says.
At the same time, their experience mirrors the very phenomenon they were studying. Each researcher worked largely alone, contributing to a shared goal through screens and scheduled calls. The collaboration was productive and efficient, but it lacked the spontaneous hallway conversations and informal exchanges that often form academic work. Their findings revealed that the antidote to this is real-time discussion and repeated interaction with the same group, which helps counteract the isolation of “socializing alone.”
Friendship by Design
In her own courses, Tice’s students form connections by participating in small group discussions with the same group for the entire semester. This approach fosters academic standing and relational belonging through the friendships her students create.
“It’s not the same as having a friend who can give you a hug,” she says. “But it’s better than not having someone to talk to.”
In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, classrooms, workplaces and even family gatherings shifted online. Students attended lectures from their bedrooms and grandparents watched grandchildren take their first steps over video calls.
“There are real advantages to it,” Tice explains. “But there are also these disadvantages that people seem to be less engaged and get less out of it as well.”
In her personal life, Tice found that learning technology’s limits and how they changed her behavior did not push her away from using digital tools but clarified their proper role in supporting interpersonal relationships. While she maintains relationships through texting and video calls, she has become more intentional about scheduling in-person interactions and maintaining a balance.
“Think of our online interactions as being a supplement to our in-person interactions,” she advises. “That way I think we can have the best mental health.”
AI and the Illusion of Companionship
That balance becomes even more urgent to preserve as digital interaction evolves. If video calls can blur the line between connection and isolation, emerging artificial intelligence tools complicate it further.
“People are responding to AI as if it were a friend more and more,” she warns.
AI companions offer responsiveness and constant availability, but according to Tice, they cannot replicate one critical aspect of human relationships: honest, loving correction. True growth often requires accountability, guidance, and sometimes difficult conversations.
These elements are difficult to replicate digitally. Tice emphasizes that our relationships, whether personal or professional, are strengthened by feedback that is thoughtful and sometimes uncomfortable — something algorithms are not designed to provide.
Attention Is a Choice
For students in the College of Family, Home, and Social Sciences, where connection is central to campus life and belonging, Tice offers a practical challenge. If you are online, be fully online.
“Don’t have your email open, turn off your phone,” she says. “Just give as much attention as you can to the electronic communication while you’re in it.”
And beyond the screen, she urges intentional presence.
“Don’t lose the engagement that comes with in-person [interactions]...make as many connections as you can,” Tice says.
Looking for more in-person connection? Visit the Belonging and Diversity Office in 945 KMBL.