Honored Alumni Lecture by Ambassador Jeffry Flake highlights trust as key to political progress.
In the face of division and contention, many still accept the invitation to be peacemakers by using kindness to strengthen communities.
Ambassador Jeffry Flake (BA ’86, MA ’87), chose to use his career as an American politician to build bridges between colleagues and countries. Flake was invited to return to his alma mater and deliver the Honored Alumni Lecture for the College of Family, Home, and Social Sciences, as his achievements in peacemaking and politics exemplify the aims of a BYU education.
On October 16, 2025, students filed into the Kimball Tower auditorium to hear Flake’s lecture, “No Man is an Island: Lessons Learned as a Legislator and Diplomat.” In the current political environment fostering contention and division, Flake challenged the self-interested pursuit of power.
“Real progress, real happiness and change don’t spring from fear or control. They’re built on trust,” Flake said.
Kindness and Respect
Flake lectured that trust is built on “the smallest acts of kindness and respect” and that these traits are vital to having a collaborative community but are often put on the backburner to prioritize personal agendas.
By the time he joined the U.S. Senate in 2013, polarization had already begun to diminish simple acts of collegiality and kindness. For example, pairing—an old Senate tradition in which a senator who would miss a vote found someone from the opposite side of the issue to abstain from voting to even the tally.
“But every once in a while, you’re reminded of the best in human nature,” Flake said as he recalled seeing the tradition play out on a rare occasion.
In 2018, a Republican senator missed a vote for the secretary of state nominee as he was delivering a funeral address for a close friend. Because of the senator’s absence, the Democrats had a higher likelihood of blocking the nomination.
Then, despite his own political opinions, a Democratic senator stepped forward to change his vote to present, evening out the vote by not picking a side.
“We’re not used to such expressions of sympathy, of compassion, and peacemaking,” Flake said.
Jessie Moore, a junior in political science from Orem, Utah, was one of the attendees of Flake’s lecture. Flake’s experiences reaffirmed her commitment to “building bridges of understanding instead of tearing people down.”
Moore is co-president of the Peacemaker Project, an academic association designed to help nurture “dignified dialogue and disagreement”—something key to creating collaborative communities.
After all, being a peacemaker does not mean agreeing with everybody. The Democratic senator from Flake’s experience did not change his stance—he merely practiced kindness and fairness. Kindness, especially during conflict, is an important part of solving problems with diverse people.
“We want to facilitate peacemaking by creating opportunities for dialogue, not never talking about it,” says Dallin Bundy, a senior in political science from St. George, Utah, and co-president of the BYU Political Affairs Society.
The Peacemaker Project and Political Affairs Society are organizations with the goal of helping students learn how to disagree with each other while still respecting each other's inherent worth.
“When it becomes more common, it becomes more approachable,” Moore says.
Finding the Courage to Connect
In 2001, Flake entered the House of Representatives sure that he would be able to change the world. He quickly learned that when working with hundreds of people with very different opinions, change is an uphill battle.
As an extra frustration for Flake, he described a Democratic representative who would not allow him to present an opinion without shooting him down.
Bundy comments that in the face of enmity, it may feel easier to turn away from political participation completely. However, he believes that politics, even with its necessary conflict, is not as scary as it seems.
“Politics, in reality, is just people trying to work together to find solutions,” Bundy says.
Problem solving requires the courage to engage in diverse environments. Flake said he continued to show up and try to make a difference, in spite of opposition with the Democratic representative who would usually oppose him. In one session, the representative defended Flake from a discourteous comment and in the years that followed, their debates took on a good-natured tone.
Empathy for Everyone
Whether interested in politics or not, it’s always possible to practice empathy, creating a more loving community even with conflicting opinions.
“Not everyone can be a legislator, but all of us can be peacemakers in our own relationships and daily interactions,” Flake said.
While building bridges and nurturing love may begin with individual action, true and lasting change cannot be done alone. “We are not meant to live alone or to see the world only through our own eyes,” he said.
Flake further shared that peace comes from connection—from the comfort and joy found in being around family, neighbors, colleagues, and friends.
“That’s where real happiness lies,” he said.
