Sociology professor Jonathan Jarvis flips the narrative on comparison, sharing how instead of a thief of joy, it can be a tool for discovery and curiosity.
As a student, it can be so easy to wonder why your classmates get the trophies and recognition or seem to have everything figured out. The Disciple- Scholar Lecture given by sociology professor Jonathan Jarvis about viewing comparison in a different light, provided a foundation of how this article could dig deeper into how it could apply to students.
Jarvis, based on his own experiences and research, suggests that comparison should be viewed not as a competition or thief of joy, but instead as a flashlight of discovery and tool for curiosity, to ask curious questions, empathize, and celebrate others.
Where it Began
As a child, Jarvis lived in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, where at the time there weren’t many Latter-day Saints in the area, and he was part of a larger family. He recalls comparing the differences between himself, his situation, and others around him, like whether their house was cleaner, not as busy, or smaller. Though these differences annoyed him, he says that as he got older, he began to see comparison as an observational tool rather than something negative.
“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could look at comparison in a more positive way?” Jarvis asks.
What He Learned
While living and conducting research in South Korea for his doctoral dissertation, Jarvis further learned how to use comparison as an instrument to see the positive.
He could’ve asked what Koreans were doing right, wrong, or better than him. But instead of approaching it as a rivalry, he was overcome with curiosity and looked at their differences with positivity and wonder.
“I just had endless questions about why, why do they do all this?” he says.
He’d never looked at other people’s differences in quite that way before. This new thought process was a unique way of comparing things, driven by curiosity instead of anger, frustration, or pride.
“Sociology has helped me think about the tools to look at people, behavior, and things as objectively as I can. ...To see what’s going on and try to repress initial judgments,” he says.
For his dissertation, Jarvis interviewed Koreans at multinational companies in Seoul, who had studied overseas. One participant, who had spent time working, living, and going to school in western countries, remarked that in the workplace he could catch the cues and signals as well as the social expectations and cultural practices that both Koreans and foreign colleagues were missing.
The participant’s unique perspective allowed him to stand in a middle ground where he could recognize the unspoken needs of each side and help bring different groups together.
“His position, having been in these two locations, kind of gave him a superpower,” Jarvis says.
What Jarvis saw in his research sparked a commitment to continue asking sociological questions from the middle ground, driven by a desire to explore differences out of curiosity rather than through a lens of prejudice.
Disrupting Everyday Routines
To remove both pride and prejudice, Jarvis suggests disrupting your routine in small, intentional ways. “It helps reorient the way [you] see things,” he says. One routine that you can change is what you do online.
For example, your online experience is catered to previous actions, entrenching you in certain ways of seeing the world. “We get kind of ‘algorithmed’ to death,” Jarvis notes.
Because you don’t see much outside of that, when you see something different online, it can be hard to believe it even exists simply because that content isn’t your experience.
Even changing the amount of time you spend online can allow you to see the experiences of others in a new light.
“What can be compelling about comparison is you can be sympathetic to other people’s outrage that you may not be experiencing,” he says.
Taking on a New Perspective
In what Jarvis calls a “competitive, hard world,” it can be difficult to celebrate the accomplishments of others. He challenges comparative competition with a scriptural invitation to “mourn with those that mourn” and adds a suggestion: “How about we celebrate with those that are celebrating?”
It can be difficult to be happy for the achievements of others when you wonder, “Why didn’t I get it?” or “They always get it.” These are unhealthy ways of viewing the progress of others. By removing pride and judgment, Jarvis believes you can change the way you view the experiences of others.
“All of a sudden, people’s life experiences become really meaningful to you — either out of sympathy and love, ‘I want to help them,’ or ‘I’m so happy for them,’” he says.
Jarvis hopes that by seeing others without judgment and jealousy, we will all “have a more pleasant existence.”