Have you ever blindly stepped into the unknown and felt that you were sinking? Peter walked through the storm despite fear and uncertainty—and so did Esteban Gonzalez.
On a cool September evening, a young Chilean student walked on stage preparing to represent the School of Family Life at the annual President’s Leadership Council.
“God’s promises are fulfilled in ways we don’t expect, but always with purpose,” Esteban Gonzalez, a junior studying family life, testified to an audience of BYU’s top donors. Gonzalez shared how he continued forward in faith despite facing challenges and doubts, which ultimately led him to where he is today.
Born and raised in Chile, Gonzalez spent his early life moving around the country with his parents, two younger sisters, and grandma. Despite his loving family, Gonzalez felt isolated and alone. No matter which school he attended, Gonzalez said he struggled with social skills that seemed to come effortlessly to others. He felt unsure of who he was, why he didn’t fit in, and how to respond to those who bullied him for his differences.
“There was a time where my grandpa was like, you should hit them back,” he chuckled. “But my ultimate goal was to understand.”
It would have been easy to stew in the resentment of being unliked and alienated by his peers, but Gonzalez knew he wanted more than that. With the help of a close friend, he learned to understand himself and his relationships.
“All those things that happened in my life were building a desire to see things differently,” he said.
Throughout his teenage years, his goal was to become a doctor. When the time to apply for college came, his father sent him to the United States to live with his uncle in Utah and hopefully attend BYU.
“I didn't fully understand what was going on, but I trusted him and thought, I’m going to try,” Gonzalez said.
Although he was not accepted by BYU, he was able to earn his associate degree from Ensign College and work as a medical assistant for a year. His time in the United States wasn’t easy, but in the face of each obstacle he chose to keep moving forward in faith. He knew that God was molding him to fulfill his purpose in life.
Transformation Takes Trials
However, the three years he spent in the United States led him to feel lost and alone. In the midst of his struggle with these emotions, Gonzalez felt prompted to move back to Chile.
“I’m kind of like Peter,” Gonzalez said. “Even though I don’t know if I can walk on the water, I just jump. And then, later, I find myself sinking.”
Despite his faith in moving back to Chile, he felt disappointed and directionless. “I thought that I was never going to come back to the United States, and I felt sorry to God for my inability,” Gonzalez said.
However, his uncertainty for the future continued to motivate him to seek out his next steps. In Chile he attended institute and church activities with his little sister, met his future wife, and served as a Stake Clerk. These experiences played a key role in the restoration of his confidence and faith. Finally, he felt ready to reapply to BYU.
After being accepted to BYU in the summer of 2024, Gonzalez came across the Kimball Tower while touring campus. He had a profound moment of revelation and knew that one day he would be in the tower. With the College of Nursing housed in the Kimball Tower and Gonzalez planning to major in nursing, this revelation confirmed to him that he was heading in the right direction.
“I finally found my path. I know it is here," he enthusiastically said. “And then I had the feeling to change my major.”
Finding Faith in Uncertainty
Like Peter, Gonzalez did not know where God was leading him. But with faith, Gonzalez decided to change his major to family life before he began his first semester.
“I started finding what I wanted in my life. God was trying to show me a path that fit for me,” he said.
Since then, Gonzalez has had opportunities to contribute to research within the family life department, including participating in adolescent development research with Adam Rogers, an associate professor of psychology. He was grateful to participate in research where he could use his own experiences to help others.
Amidst difficult struggles, Gonzalez knew that each challenge pushed him to exactly where he was meant to be. After graduating, he plans to apply to BYU’s Marriage, Family, and Human Development graduate program to become a professor of human development.
“God has done so much for me. I want to give something back. I am still growing, but I know that I will come back here as a professor and inspire others like I was,” Gonzalez said.
