July 12, 2021
I still wonder where that age-old mentality came from - that I would be married and have a family as soon as I graduated from college and that I would be a stay-at-home mother raising a family and relying on the income of my spouse to take care of us.
I can’t quite pinpoint if my mentality came from being taught this at church, or if I saw this manifest in all the amazing relationships around me as a youth. I still wonder about the validity of the claim that we are teaching this distinct approach in the youth programs of the church or if it was my interpretation of the approach based on a couple talks of encouragement toward one way of being given over the pulpit.
Regardless of where this mentality came from, I wanted nothing more than to be married and have a family as soon as I received a diploma, if not a little bit beforehand.
This wasn’t my journey. There were a couple women who tried to help me understand different and amazing trajectories of life, but I was convinced, “That won’t be me. This is what my path will look like.”
My hope in sharing my journey is to show you that your desires are AMAZING and good, and to be and feel prepared to embrace whatever happens in your life - with intention.
I grew up in a family that valued education, and the push for me was: get through school and if you get married along the way, you stay and complete your education. I am honored to come from that legacy. While I was planning on doing just that, I wasn’t planning on being unmarried until I was 30. I had embedded this expectation and attached a timeframe that made sense to me and when it didn’t happen, I was lost and disappointed for a very long time.
When I began my degree, I chose English because I loved reading and writing. My parents encouraged me to seek something that would be more lucrative, and while my dad still wished I would have taken up engineering or law school, I just couldn’t branch away from some of my desires. I enrolled in journalism at Utah State University, hated it, and then started the public relations program, which started me on my career journey. I had also taken so many courses in English that I ended up getting a double major.
While these two majors were packed with coursework that allowed me sufficient skill-sets to get a job, I really didn’t think too much of it because I was planning on being married, just like my girlfriends from back home, and (what seemed) everyone else around me. Slowly, I started victimizing my life’s situation instead of learning how to embrace the beauty of it and of myself. It became easy to spiral into thoughts of shame and hopelessness, “I must not be….” “I am not worthy of….” and while this has taken work to step out of that mindset, it is an important piece of my story.
I don’t believe in regrets, but I do wish I would have embraced this time in my life to really figure out who I was distinctly, and separate from my desire to fulfill and honor a part of myself I felt (and still feel) is a beautiful part of God’s plan.
I have a Master of Public Administration (MPA) with an emphasis in educational leadership, and two bachelor’s degrees: communication with a specialty in public relations and English with a specialty in technical writing. Aside from my dream job as a mother of two hilarious, adventurous little boys, I have 16 years professional experience, 11 years management experience, and 9 years project management experience. Clearance: Top Secret. I currently work as an Academic and Professional Development Manager for the Liberal Arts Advisement and Careers office for BYU, worked at BYU-Idaho for 5 years as an advisor and adjunct Business Faculty prior to joining the BYU ranks, and provide instruction for GS 170: Career Development at BYU-Idaho.
I worked with various government agencies, PR firms, software companies, small businesses, large corporations, and non-profit organizations nationwide, ran my own business for a time, and started over after my master’s as a lifeguard, substitute teacher, and intern. I have learned to walk with faith and magnify my strengths as a result. During a time of enormous stretching and change, I worked as a Communication Specialist for the Executive Office of the President of the United States (The White House) that was a huge and life-altering pivot in my career trajectory.
More than where I have been, I am finally doing what I set out to do 10 years ago, helping students, job seekers, and women. I thrive on getting to know my students - their dreams, interests and pursuits, and am passionate about coaching them through life’s decisions and challenges.
I have been laid-off, unemployed, have worked in fields that have been predominantly men, am a single mom and the sole bread-winner for my family.
My multi-passions, personal experiences, and non-linear career path has given me insight that helps me empathize with many individuals and broaden their minds to possibilities.
Through varying life events, experiences and circumstances, and even in being single again, I am strengthened in my faith and understanding of who I am and what I contribute to in this life. I am buoyed by my Savior, who allows me to see things that I couldn’t see on my own, and whose guidance and sweet direction have given me confidence in the Plan of Salvation and vitalized my understanding of the part I play in it.
What This Means For You
While my story is unique to me, the concept of self-discovery, finding fulfillment, identity searching, shame-smashing, career readiness and success, and faith-building is not unique.
If you aren’t sure where to start, start here. This website and initiative is full of stories from women who are living amazing lives, who have overcome struggles, and who are still asking questions about how to live fulfilling lives.
The hope is that their stories and events energize and expand your thinking so you can see your unique identity, talents, strengths, and capacity to see what is possible, regardless of what you feel guided to do now and post-graduation.
Regardless of where you are on your life path, I truly believe that knowing about where others’ have been can help you on your journey of self-discovery and fulfillment.
