Mitt Romney shares his secret to enduring happiness with students in the College of Family, Home, and Social Sciences.
“What really counts is the stuff where luck doesn’t play a role, which is your friends, the people you love, and your commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ,” said Mitt Romney (’71), former U.S. senator from Utah and presidential nominee, when addressing Brigham Young University students on Nov. 13.
The lecture was the third time Romney spoke on campus last week and over 350 students eager to hear his messages on statesmanship filled the Kimball Tower auditorium and overflow space.
Romney shared the importance of identifying and remaining true to one’s core values and life purpose and the role that plays in being a good statesman — whether in politics or life in general.
From his experiences in business, public service, and government, Romney cited a variety of examples of people around him whom he believed were true to their core values — they were truly happy. He’s also seen the opposite effect of people who don’t know or live by their core values being anxious and unfulfilled.
Romney shared an experience from early in his career that helped him define his core values. While working at the consulting firm Bain & Company, his boss Bill Bain brought in two psychologists to decrease competition amongst co-workers.
The psychologists helped employees identify their core values through a few thought exercises. Romney realized they all essentially had the same core values of love, service, integrity, character, and courage.
While living by core values can bring joy, they often come in conflict with personal interests. He explained that many individuals struggle to live in accordance with their core values, resulting in conflicts both with others and within themselves, and ultimately causing unhappiness.
Romney taught that there are two ways forward — serve only oneself and attempt to seek one’s own happiness or ask what one can do for others.
“If you really want to have that happiness as an individual, you have to...focus more on that part of your life which is service to others,” Romney said.
Romney shared the story of an individual who faced an opportunity to turn away from self-interest and remain true to her core values — former Democratic senator from Arizona, Kyrsten Sinema, whom he described as “the smartest person in the United States Senate when [he] was there.”
During the Biden administration, Democratic leaders sought to abolish the filibuster, or 60 vote rule, which requires a majority of 60 votes to end a debate in order to have a law passed, according to the Brennan Center for Justice. Sinema was positioned to be the deciding vote on the proposed change.
At the time, she informed the Democratic majority leader, Chuck Schumer, that she would not vote with her party to change the rule. After hearing this, Romney’s colleagues in the Republican caucus pressed him to ask if she would hold to her word. When Romney asked Sinema, she said she would not walk away from what she believes in and will always stick to her principles.
Romney stated that she ultimately voted against changing the rule — sticking to her word and core values — even though it was not a good decision for her personally given her party allegiance.
“What are you going to do? What are your core values? And what are you willing to sacrifice to live in accordance with those core values?” Romney asked, challenging the audience.
He urged that our country needs people who will sacrifice their personal interests for the sake of their core values and being of service to others.
Recalling Bain’s wisdom again, Romney said Bain believed that the two most important decisions an individual makes in life are whom to marry and what career to pursue.
“He missed the most important question,” Romney said. “President Nelson expressed it just prior to his death: What’s your life about? What’s your purpose in life? What are you going to give yourself to?”
Romney said that in order to develop statesmanship, one must recognize what they want to accomplish and understand that it can change over time.
“What's my purpose in life? I didn't know what I wanted as a purpose in life. By the way, I never thought I'd get involved in politics. That only came much later in life," Romney said.
As your life progresses, Romney said you have to figure out what you want to live for and what is important to you.
“I wish I could say that throughout my life I always stuck entirely to the things I believe most deeply and never varied based on principle or expediency,” Romney said. “But what I found is in human life or in the human mind, we have an extraordinary capacity to rationalize and justify what is in our self-interest as being the best thing for the country. We're able to convince ourselves that that's the case.”
By paying attention to our self-interest, Romney said we can prevent it from pushing us toward choices that go against what we value most.
Romney closed with the advice that seeking only fame, money, and entertainment can lead to an empty and unhappy life, because these things are largely beyond one’s control and depend mostly on luck. Instead, seeking the sure things of friends, family, and faith bring enduring happiness.
View the lecture here:
